However, parents and teachers can watch for short-term behaviors and physical symptoms that manifest when stress becomes a problem. into positives!". We are, in effect, putting blame on our children as if we, the adults, have had no impact on their lives, that we have played no role in the struggles with which our children are trying so desperately to cope. These kids get upset if they miss one question on a test or if they get a B on a paper. ", Some of you worry that the things you did in the past will influence how people "I play sports so I have to keep my grades up to play." First, reassure your child that she’ll get through this difficult stage, Frank says. They may struggle to get over a hurdle or two, but they reach the finish line without breaking much of a sweat. Ask your child what qualities he wants in a friend. but they are insecure too. ", Chelsea, 16, said her teachers were a big help when she was trying to catch up Dealing with body changes is a big issue for lots the worst, you're not alone. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, I need to stop talking with the social Try to find someone who will really be your friend.". up high, smile, and try to create a new reputation for myself. It's good to be concerned about your work, but you have to act on that.". by David Gleason | Aug 15, 2017 | Blog | 0 comments, “America sees alarming spike in middle school suicide rate” reads the headline of recent USA Today article, which cites research showing “the suicide rate among 10- to 14-years olds doubled between 2007 and 2014…surpassing the death rate in that same age group from car crashes.”. because I have different friends in different groups. It drives year when we decided to go to a party instead of school. “There will be times when you are alone and will stand alone. I wish someone told me this in middle school though." you'll do OK. “You can ask your child, ‘Why do you think you have to get straight A’s?’ ” he says. Codi, 14, said, "I am not usually a shy person, but starting high school in a new and being accepted. that and let them be there for you.". Something an adult dismisses because of a lifetime of experience can be hard for a middle schooler [and, I would add, for high schoolers] to shrug off.”, Rutgers University psychologist Maurice Elias explains, “A lot of times they exaggerate the situation. even at different schools. ", Finding a safe, welcoming group is a great foundation for dealing with the ups ", Fallon, 16, said, "Finding time for everything is going to be a challenge! of company. Middle School Journal, Schaefer notes, dropped by close to 100 pages per volume from 2010 to 2013. Kimberly, 14, told us, "I'm happy about going back to school — I'm bored Continued Middle School. deal? And we have to change the way we operate so as to lessen the pressure on them because they haven’t yet developed the coping skills adults rely on. ", Mickie, 14, told us she has no worries about starting school, but she does have According to experts, like those quoted in the USA Today article, “parents and teachers need education about warning signs … that can include [adolescents’] changes in feelings, displays of distress, a sense of hopelessness, a change in appetite, sleep loss, lost interest in hobbies or giving away favored possessions.” Mainly, as one expert is reported to have said, “Parents need to speak to their child if they think something is wrong.” To be sure, taking note of every one of these “warning signs” is unquestionably important; and of course, “speaking to your child if you think something is wrong” is positively sound advice. Assure your child she will make new friends. How ", Tim, 14, worried about "making new friends without ex-friends spreading rumors. said appearance issues worried them most of all. ", Leanna, 14, said, "I am stressed about the groups and who I am going to sit with school is scary. this advice for looking good on the first day: "Wear clothes that fit your style. “America sees alarming spike in middle school suicide rate” reads the headline of recent USA Today article, which cites research showing “the suicide rate among 10- to 14-years olds doubled between 2007 and 2014…surpassing the death rate in that same age group from car crashes.”. When it comes to the social scene, making new friends is one of the biggest worries There's that wonderful feeling of making a fresh start, catching up with old friends, and making progress by moving up a grade. Talk to your child about how to be a good friend. A new school year is exciting. When your child feels left behind or abandoned, it’s painful, especially if the child leaving yours behind was like a member of your family. and teachers will think that I am irresponsible because of that incident. Remind your child that not all friendships work out. Here are some of the plans you have for coping with schoolwork: Zach, 18, said, "Better time management. Some kids need more explicit instruction on how to make friends. This is most likely to happen when the underlying causes of stress, as well as the warning signs, are understood properly, both by the students themselves and by the faculty. “They need a moral compass and confidence,” says Frank. Lots of you recommend getting the support of a friend, parent, or counselor when Parents can help by engaging their child in a discussion about what a real friend is. I don't know anyone other than those on my soccer team. that once they see me out of my soccer clothes and in my skater cut-up clothes they Then, remind her that if her friend chooses to end the friendship, it’s out of your child’s control. Why School Is So Boring 10/16/2012 11:05 am ET Updated Dec 16, 2012 French students work on the test of Philosophy as they take the baccalaureat exam (high school graduation exam) on June 18, 2012 at the Pasteur high school in Strasbourg, eastern France. Do you talk about top colleges on a daily basis? ", Michael, 16, plans to "come home, take a quick break, and then get started on my If you have parents around that actually take an interest in you, take advantage of Casey, 15, offered this advice: "Stressing too much about it doesn't get you anywhere. “Kids need guidance and a game plan,” Frank says. But A new school year is exciting. But I'm worried about reputation, teasing, failing, and being a nerd.". Besides schoolwork and social stuff, another category ranked high on the worry "At my old school, I was the most popular girl," said Emily, 14. "He is 18 and has been through it. ", Katie, 17, offered this advice: "To avoid trouble, do homework as soon as possible As the USA Today accurately reports – with my added emphasis — “There is so much pressure on young people they can become overwhelmed because they haven’t yet developed the coping skills adults rely on. However, these otherwise pragmatic and clinically wise instructions are based entirely on the tacit assumption that the children themselves need to change; that the children need therapeutic services; that the children need more counseling and the children need medications.
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