We’re definitely the funniest people on the planet. 10.
54 Of The Funniest Scottish Tweets Of 2016 "Is it legal or illegal to slide tackle a goth?" Directions for Little Max.
Came home told my dad and honestly got about a… https://t.co/PBRHXrgoGh. Maybe they should. We're a family-friendly website, after all. 13. do @OfficialPLT think am fucking slenderman, Dominos asked robbie how many slices he wanted his pizza cut into 4 or 6 n he said 4 cause he couldn't eat 6, Sisters got asthma and we got her they candles that dinny blow oot for her bday cake and aboot killed the cunt trying to blow them oot, asked for a vodka n coke last night in menorca n look at the fuckin state ae that, that's a pint glass, that's atte… https://t.co/JHg5QzwrfZ, Hate they cunts that always try an better ye, u say uv booked Florida an suddenly Janice is goin on a 2week all inclusive tae fuckin Jupiter, I’ve just witnessed a hoard people berate a bus driver into letting a guy bring his 7ft tree on the bus by shouting… https://t.co/8VjlMk6MOk, Maw keeps buying dark chocolate biscuits knowin fine well am allergic tae it hinkin it’ll stop me tanning them hi… https://t.co/lLAZJwA3Ec, Wanting a 2L Capri-sun that a can hang above ma bed n just slurp fuck oot it lit a big 6 foot hamster, does anyone else's mum always play 120 questions the mornin after you've been out? There's folk ma age having weans and av just had a tub ae Pringles for ma dinner.
5. Goudie @Goudie15. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. "Canny believe I woke up this morning gutted man."
Reporting on what you care about.
… Aye, cause it's hardly ever Christmas mate, Hate when u ask someone where something is and they go 'try opening yer eyes' try dodging this jab ya melon, one of my pals got called to jury duty and had to be excused because she'd shagged the person on trial , honestly last night someone asked me if crabs think we walk sideways n a havent stopped thinkin about it since, Ma sisters just told me her pal canny get Indians delivered cause she lives on Curry Street n they think it's a prank call, Wenty the doctors way hearing problems n he goes can ye describe the symptoms n a says aye homers fat n marge has blue hair, I hated trick or treatin houses tht wid make u tell jokes for the sweets just put the mini snickers in the bag hen this isne open mic night, Does anyone else only get out eh bed in multiples of 0 or 5, like it gets to 07:21 n am like nah av missed it al get up at 07:25 or am a mad. 1.
You still there? 3. Hate when a cunt yer no expectin says awrite an ye hit back wae a pure high pitch HIYA then think about it for the rest ae yer pathetic life, Imagine being a fuckin vegan, walking hame after a night oot steaming like "fuck me i could go a cabbage supper", Reminder that JK Rowling a grown woman multi millionaire blocked me for calling her made up character in a book about wizards a specky cunt, Went inty the shop for sweeties after work n the burd said 'you look how a feel pal' you better feel fantastic then ya cheeky boot, Fred flintstone been driving about killie, If ma grandweans take pictures a me dyin on ma hospital bed to post on social media fur attention a will haunt them till they die, Why do cunts go "mail me" when sumcunt asks about their new job?? still affronted at being £6.24 for a pishy baguette n irn bru this morning. 29 Ridiculous Scottish Tweets Perfect For the Saturday Pick-Me-Up - The internet has generated a huge amount of laughs from cats and FAILS.
21 Scottish Tweets That Are So Funny They'll Cure Your Hangover "When yer helping the wains cross the road at 3 but flying to the moon at 4." Jun 13, 2017 - Explore chavezholley's board "Scottish tweets" on Pinterest. Who cares more abt brushing teeth? Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Will never see any of his family or pals ever again, aw a want is glowing skin a poppin highlight a tan a toned stomach £100,000 in ma bank n that feeling when the hot wind hits yer face when you step aff the plane but here a am ˢʰᵒᵛᶦᶰᵍ ᵃ ᶫᵉᵍᵒ ᵖᶦʳᵃᵗᵉ ˢʰᶦᵖ ᵘᵖ ᵐᵃ ᵃʳˢᵉʰᵒᶫᵉ ᵃᵍᵃᶦᶰ, Sitting in a bar in malia and we ask the guy to take a picture of us, and he was like do u want the dog in the pic, and we were like aye why not, result being, Mind those fucking wee mutants in primary school that used to turn their eyelids inside out, Why does ma Nana’s dog look like he’s trying tae see what he wants tae order from the chippy, Pffffft what’d a do to deserve him, he’s so romantic keeper x, state ae this, trying to communicate with ma dad is a fuckin task, Seen a boy in Asda with a bunch of flowers and a woman said "aw whos the lucky girl" and he legit turned roond and was like "ma grans deed". In the meantime, we thought we'd try to cheer everyone up by doing a round up of the funniest Scottish tweets that did the rounds in March 2019. "Canny believe I woke up this morning gutted man. I’ve had “before” photos for my weight change on my phone for so long that I’ve had to take more up to date yins cause I’ve put on weight, mental tae hink that you nd a pal ae urs won't be able to go to each others funeral, blew ma mind, Wee bro just suggested they make Chinese menus like Avon books so u rub ur wrist on a page n smell wit u wanty eat. Back on the gear. Tht wean is the future x, why do ppl that hate christmas have to tell u they hate it every 5 minutes?
⚪️ straight mum’s in tears, we’re all worried sick, Noticed there was a fly on our flight and it full on blew my mind. Hahaha. O… https://t.co/9qSzCouOlC. So RIDICULOUS people going about wearing fake glasses, like you wouldny kick about wearing a hearing aid when u don't need one?? 3 year I ago I got done by a red light camera, 3 points, £100 fine. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!
See more ideas about Scottish tweets, Scottish twitter and Funny tweets. Wow. 20 Funny Scottish Tweets 1. Who ws there? "Nae wains great dains", Just fell through the roof trying to get the cat canny believe it she's still up there tae, Theresa May looks like the kinda woman when u where younger and your ball went inty her garden she'd get her husband to go oot and burst it, 2 funny brushing ur teeth next to some1 :))) who’s gonny stop brushing first?
Saying the pools freezin oan holiday n theres always sumcunt awready in the pool that says “its awryt once you’re in”, Its mad the kind of plans you make with people when your out on a weekend. 100 Scottish Tweets That Made Everyone Piss Themselves In 2017. Skip To Content. Enjoy! On food: Holly @deidhaul5. On ye fucking go. Go buy s… https://t.co/T6MxIfRLMu, Bird at work was born on a leap year and said she’s actually only 8 so I called her husband a peedo and she’s put a complaint in, Canny believe a year ago ma da had a pure bad crash n then the next day he went back to see if his crate was alright, A girl was buying herself perfume n her bf went “do u really need that” n she replied “do a really need u” u go hen, If anycunts having a bad sunday heres a picture eh ma dug riding a bike, Canny believe I woke up this morning gutted man, In eh toilets in Elrow n a copper walks in tellin us aw to shut up n cunt turnt roon n said "your taking your costume to seriously", Every morning my Gran or Grandad stand outside and wave to me when am on the bus to work, wis in a taxi going to work n the cunt asked "so wit is it ye do?" 40 Times Scottish … Reporting on what you care about. 14. Posted onJun 9, 2019. 8. Emigrated. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Relax and let these hilarious dogs, cats, and mums soothe your troubled soul.
Some are quite sweary but don't worry - we censored them.
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Facebook. 1. gonny sing Cher Lloyd by Cher Lloyd, My mums just commented this on my cousins Fb status, AHAHAHA wee savage Ang, put an elastic band round ma head in work n sumdy said a look like cara delevinge n tbh a see it, Imagine being a fuckin vegan, walking hame after a night oot steaming like "fuck me i could go a cabbage supper", Mad how yer tastebuds change as ye get older. 44 Scottish Tweets That Are Hilarious If You Can Decipher Them. No a hint of embarrassment. Decipher that. 7. "Mad how dogs can swim way no lessons." BuzzFeed Staff. Onions was a great wee dug. Seen my dad chopping up Onions and I started greeting. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! Scotland, home to leprechauns, sheep, and the occasional human being, is renowned for its inhabitants interesting take on the English language. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Who would ye rather have as Prime Minister? 12. a replied "work in a bank mate you?" Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!
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BuzzFeed Staff. fuck off u jingle bellend ur getting me down, Last year v this year.. glad we’ve matured. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Nb Sandra you're part time in Home Bargains no undercover wae the MI5, Lassie in Gibraltar took my photo while a was off guard, stuck it to a plate and made me buy it fur €6, I'm 18 on Friday n my gran just said to me "first line is on me" she was meaning for the bookies thought she wanted to get onit, seriously ???? 19 Times Scottish Twitter Was The Best Twitter. 4.
"Canny believe I woke up this morning gutted man." Tiring. Would never have even thought aboot touching a mushroom when a was younger n noo am basically oot foraging in the woods tae find the elusive scarlet elfcap tae fling in ma carbonara for a more earthy flavour, See when u get a parcel delivered n the guy asks u to sign his wee phone thing, Ye could actual draw a ragin boaby on it n he’d still be lit “right mate that’s brilliant cheers”, house currently in uproar as it would seem the dug’s back on the gear.
11. 6. Obsessed with travel? by Jamie Jones. by Syd Robinson. ⚪️ bi Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity.
Oh maw…. Duck delivery. 15. was it good ?did u… https://t.co/cui8OT59Rn, Smith took acid last night and two burds were talking Gaelic and no cunt telt smith n he just thought he couldn’t u… https://t.co/XTFyRICpvT, FKN HOWLING oot wi ma maw n she's brought her umbrella which is actually a hip flask in disguise, music in school was pure class like the teacher would only be bothered with the ones who could play an instrument w… https://t.co/BF8CRY90fQ, when you're sittin in the front seat of a taxi and your pals are in the back hitting oot wae the absolute worst pat… https://t.co/OPsAWV9KIQ.
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